Better day ?

Hmm well yesterday, seeing her nick on msn saying "i m kicking and alive, don't bother others to ask how m i" .. i feel a sudden coldness and so mean to me, even she don't love me anymore, but even as a friend, well isn't that sound so mean like i wana her dead .. i guess i m the one better off dead.

Well some people saying due to my temper and etc, don't really deny it but only me myself really know i guess. True i use the wrong approach and etc but deep inside me i really do care for her but maybe my expression is not that great or to pass.
And i m changing .. but why not think of the thoughts behind it ... haiz maybe i m trying to find excuses as u see but NO, all i wana say no matter wat, certain things r built in me already but its the heart i m showing ..and really do changing for the better ... haiz nvm ......

Well then someone told me ye she is doing well, buzy with family stuffs, alot guy chasing her now, her ex husband ask her back and bla bla bla ......

Haiz ..sad to hear, but good to hear that she is fine well happy maybe.
It really chill me, feeling motionless, well wondering ..... people make it sound so easy to let go but guess they dun really know me well enough.

Haiz even the beast has the time of a rose till the last petal drop and me ... well m i really did so wrong, me never show ? and never have gd time and etc .. everything say wat now also useless .. all she will tell me off stop repeating .. over is over ... but she don't understand and aware of how i feel, well not her problem i guess ... this is really a wicked world.

At times i keep thinking, the Jean i knew is not like this, i know she has her own problem also but she never face it and say one ... haiz .. she maybe saying she is fine .. of course she will .. but deep inside her, she do looking for something and certain things she is not facing it and maybe dun even knew wat herself wan.

I may not know her that well .. but she do is part of my life before and now.
haiz ... continue later ..no mood .. missing her ..