Life is so uncertain, human nature is selfish afterall and love is not that GREAT afterall.

Day really getting so hard to cope as day goes by.
Well her parcel of things arrive .. heh thinking back making me sweat for cash, but well i never really do blame her, but of course will be a bit angry, human nature ma but not angry towards her, juz vex abt where to find money coz its owning to bookie, if friends still ok .. haiz ..but well i juz told her that she is not alone, any problems, both of us shd solved together and bla bla bla .... haiz

Wondering what she is doing again ... waiting for her to be online and etc .. and maybe i guess she block me but well then i see her online .. with intro .. Start My New Path, Start My new Life, starting everything from scratch... well when she was with me that time ..it say also something like that ..
Well i wana so much to msg her but well i dun dare .. haiz ..and instead asking someone else to help me msg her and ask her how is she ...
Well deep inside my heart .. i wish her to be well and good .. but my mind told me i m upset and wondering can i use time to show my sincerity ..even if i did, will she see it, will she knew ?
Well in another point, i do wana wish her the best, quietly by the side supporting her, helping her in any way she needed.
Haiz, i m really blinded by her, having a no back bone guy now.
And thinking shd i tell her that her parcel is here .. or well shd i be nasty .. haha .. well i really duno, i keep asking myself now, why m i doing something which seems impossible coz i love her ?
I pray for her well being, pray for her that she will grow up, praying for her that she will learn to understand things more if she would really wana be happy.
As a friend, i can say that with her metality she is not going to make it.
I really wana so much to do something .. and wondering why till this day she dun seems to understand ..
Does some people really seems so mean and nasty, ever think that is someone that i used to spent my life with and etc, y can't juz have a little more understanding and a passion heart to show.

Haiz i really duno ... some people might say, to end everything, might as well do it the worst so that the person will tend to wake up and carry no hope.
To me, it can really push me to a dead end and force me to die.
But i m really trying hard .. i m juz a fool who belive in love and love and nthing but love ......