Well after 3 month of breakup ....

Heh been not updating for the past 1 month, i been hiding away, hibernating ..i thought i gona be better, but well guess not, every night i shed tears for her, thinking of her ... and wonder how is she .. is she happy ? is she fine ? but guess everything is none of my concern ....

Past few week, i happen to see her, she was having coffee with her husband and friends, and well i juz walk past, its really heart breaking for me ... but maybe glad to say she is doing fine and living happily, at least this is the best i can do for now to see her happy and fine.

Then few days ago i recieve a mail from someone whom i dun even know who ...

As below : --------------------------

From : Retribution RN
Sent : Monday, October 2, 2006 4:18 AM
To : James Tan Meng Shiong
Subject : RE: JEAN'S BETRAYAL & YOUR RETRIBUTION- A DEAR JOE LETTER

| | | Inbox


Sorry dude if I hurt you even more by letting you read that pathetic letter. But dude, Its time to let go of her. She is not worth it at all. She did it to her husband, she did it to you. One day she will get her retribution. Now u know that she have been betraying you.


James Tan Meng Shiong wrote:

u r ? why send this to me ... haiz ..

>From: Retribution RN
>To: tanmengshiong@hotmail.com
>Subject: RE: JEAN'S BETRAYAL & YOUR RETRIBUTION- A DEAR JOE LETTER
>Date: Fri, 29 Sep 2006 09:02:08 +0800 (CST)


>From: "joe tay"
>To: retributionazn@yahoo.com.sg
>Subject: FW: RE: ....
>Date: Fri, 29 Sep 2006 00:59:38 +0000

>>From: "joe tay"
>>To: jeanpen@singnet.com.sg
>>Subject: RE: ....
>>Date: Wed, 24 May 2006 13:43:06 +0000
>>
>>Jean,
>>
>>
>>Please get your feelings right 1st before you say all these.
>>
>>
>>I heard from others that you and james had broken up or maybe on the
>>verge of breaking up.
>>I dun wish to know cos its not a concern to me anymore.
>>
>>
>>I just wanna concentrate on my own company and my job at the moment.I dont
>>wish and also dont have the time to talk about relationship now.
>>
>>
>>If you said you still miss me.Why must wait until now then you say it .
>>Why is it that everytime when you and james or other guy had ended your
>>relationship then would u think abt me?????What i am to you???
>>
>>I feel so ashamed of myself whenever i see those married couples on the
>>road....
>>
>>I would ask myself that why heaven would treat me this way???
>>I was given a wife but he took her away and put her into others people
>>arms.
>>Why i cant have a blissful marriage?????why cant i live till old with the
>>woman i love most?????why my wife would treat me this way after what i had
>>done for her.why???why????why????
>>How am i going to tell my relatives,those long time no see friends what
>>had happened btwn me and my wife?????
>>
>>
>>I can admit that i still do have feelings for you and whenever i pass by
>>any place we went before or do what we had done before i would still
>>think of you.
>>But whenever i think of all those pictures u had taken with nightlife
>>people and james my heart sunk down way below...........
>>
>>
>>Even before the night i went to sign the separation deed i cried while
>>looking back at those photos we took last time.But i managed to muster the
>>courage to go down and sign the papers rthe next day.Sam, my lawyer
>>assistant is a very nice guy,he told me not to take it too hard and carry
>>on with my life.

>>Please take my advice seriously... what u really need to do now is to get
>>a stable job asap and settle down your heart. And search through your
>>heart and soul who u really want and what u really want in your life so
>>you can work hard to acheive your goal.
>>Like i said before there is no free meal in this world....and always
>>belive there is a karma in everytjhing we do.
>>If not eventually after 10 yrs or maybe even more you will still be back
>>to square one.

>>I really had no wish to think abt relationship now.I had alrweady lost a
>>totally defeat to marriage and i cant afford to lose again.
>>If u wanna call me out,i am ok with it but provided i am free if i am not
>>meeting my clients or running projects.
>>
>>
>>Regards
>>
>>Joe

>>>From: Jean Chen
>>>To: smokingjoe23@hotmail.com
>>>Subject: ....
>>>Date: Tue, 23 May 2006 13:09:18 +0800
>>>
>>>Hi Joe,

>>>Just keep this between you and me.

>>>I don't know why am I sending you this email. I just want to say what I
>>>am
>>>feeling inside.

>>>Up till today, I still miss you. I think of the happy moments we spent
>>>together and things we go together.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>I don't know what you feel about me now. I don't know if you still have
>>>feelings for me. I don't know where I am heading to. Things seems to be
>>>in
>>>the opposite from what I think it should be. I have the urge of hugging
>>>you.
>>>But I know I couldn't.

>>>I don't know what is the feeling I had for you now. I'm lost.

>>>Regards,

>>>Jean

-----------------------------------

Hmm i m curious to know who is it .. and well worth or not worth it ... is it important whereby feeling is concern ...
I still belive in her for once she did really love me, even not .. i guess it make me feel better ....

BUt at the same time, i feel like a play thing, a fool to be ... haiz ironic life to be ...

Well this is what i send to her after i recieve it ... as below :
--------------------------------
Hmmm,

Well ...sending this to me make me feel more like a play thing to be ? or to make me more miserable for what of my feeling for you.

Reading this, well i have the same though as wat Joe say too, u don't know wat u wan, well and to me matter of hearts really saden and broke me heart deeply for u, till today, i still miss u ....

Still u shd figure out of what u want .... i still figure out who send this to me but well i guess its not important anymore ... wats done is done ... for the future seek to be for you or me ... i guess i only can kept u inside my memory to be ... as for u, well i told u alot of things and maybe u can try to tink back for u yurself to be and yur happiness ... wishing u the best ...

For once we being together, i still wana the best for you ... but well i still wana say ..i still miss u too ...

Same here, from yur mail u send to him, heh MAY ! Zzzzz i also duno why m i sending this back to u, maybe an excuse for me or well i duno ..... my feeling for now is like wat Joe reply u ...
Heh this is damm funny i guess ..... fate come fate goes .. fate give me the chance to meet u and love u before ... fate goes away give me the chance to pray and bless u a aside ... wishing u ...

But i guess this letter sending to me heh ... haiz .. well take it as its my lost and i never make use of the chance ba ... and well guess i m juz not gd enough to be .. for time is the most a human will
treasure and not waste ...

Love James ....

-----------------------------------

M i foolish or m i really plain stupid to be ... i know its really stupid to keep on holding to it, i wana wake up too but i can't, i juz really love her too much to be ... to be together ornot i guess its not the main thing to be for now, for love that last 4ever is 4ever already in the heart .....