Hmm M i Still Lost ...

Hmm well glad that my new job is kicking off ... feeling of her is not as much as it is used to be .. Only at times when I drink too much .. I feel sad ..But well maybe not becos of her ..But coz I m feeling bad of my life .. Always end up at the wrong path ... heading to another stupid exit ...

Well current job, I guess I cannot job hop anymore even though I dun really enjoy it ... another politic place I guess ..

Recently was having a talk with a friend and well was reflecting badly on my life .. Feeling stupid and regretful in a way I guess ... how I wish few years back I m much mature having my current thinking .. If so I would be damm rich ..Still driving a car ...but I guess if I never go though all those things, maybe for now I m still playing around and etc and so I start thinking abt people character and life .. When I was still driving and etc .. Almost everyday I have a date .. almost everyday I m out at nightclub having fun, clubbing away and etc ... money really can drive a person up crazy and well r those really happiness to be ...something which we really feel happy from our heart ... does people really so realistic and fake to be ..

Is the environment around people tending to change a person view so easy .. And talking abt relationship, do each and everyone know what they themselves are looking for ..
Why can't people be satisfied in away or so .. Be trueful ..

I guess I really change alot over the years ... really like seeing though everything in life .. But being a good man always ends up the same .. Nothing seems to be in the right way ... and I always end up being unhappy ..Or I always expect and hoping things to be too fast to get ..

All I wan now is someone who can spent half of my life with .. Someone whom I can dote and love .. And been satisfy and acting as a motivation in my life ... in away to be satisfied ..having simple life I guess ... meaning to learn to enjoy life in a more loving way and etc ... learn to enjoy the freshness of air when u take a breathe in and say ..Heh its sweet ...

M I really thinking too much at times or am I really been too sensitive ..But at times I just find the feeling not right .. Recently met a ger .. A nice ger I would say ..Good character ..Straight forward .. But something not good is .. Well I hate it when I m being stood up, not about being stood up, its just that the feeling u see ... looking forward for something but at the end .. Feeling disappointed .. And to me I m those emotion type of person ...well ya .. I wana take a step forward to understand her more but well the feeling she gives me at times .. Dun really makes me feel to ask thing abt her or I would say I don't even have the chance to ask ..

hmm well let nature take its course I guess ..but also need to be a starting point somewhere too .. I guess the feeling of everyone or the approach is different to each and every one of us I guess .. argh well I guess I m bothering too much ..

But hopefully it is a good start..