15/07/06 2 weeks of sadness, 4 month to be.

Another day being miserable at home, heh really useless, why coz of a gal and i m like this.
I hate myself for being this way, feeling, emotion always never get pass me.
After so many years of going through so many things, status and money is not that thing that really make me happy afterall, having earning my own money, buying my own car, having an own flat, really dun make me happy afterall without someone to share it with me. Earn it, lose it before yet i m still here, but find it so meaningless, just like dragging day after day, every after each setback, tolding myself a better day will come afterall.
For everything i do, i never tend to fail others, but other keep failing me even friends except for a few.
Human r selfish afterall...or well maybe i expect too much.
All my life, i been great in treating friends and etc, but well wat do i deserve till today, and what have i really earn so far.
Who really understand me and what i want ....... being looking to the brighter side, consoling myself and well tired.
But i know if i never try to make it better, i will never know the result, maybe one day i will get what i deserve, time not ripe yet i guess.
Today well if i and her still together, it be our 4month and yet now 2 weeks after breakup and sadness, i guess no one gona pity me .......
I m not as strong as i see, i m juz a person who is full of emotion, feeling.

hmm wonder what is she doing now ... hmm well back msn, back playing my SG, well catching up with my old friends, colleage and etc.

Well hopefully i can get pass all this, and well i guess starting all over again, pulling myself into mixing with people again .. shit and that ..heh ..
True friends r hard to find, a person to understand me is even hard ...so well wat is love and wat is true friendship ........ does people ever care and ask ......

haiz ..